A Carnival for the Complainers! Now everyone is happy!

Ok, I was having lunch on campus yesterday with Dan when who should appear but some god-mocking, frequently guitar-twanging, big word using Psychology prof by the name of John V. who proceeded to complain that the old Thinking Shop has been featuring too many cats and not enough slinky babes of late.

John’s complaint seems to be based on the fact that I haven’t celebrated a carnival for a while. Well, it’s not my damn fault. Despite submitting a number of posts to the monthly Biblioblogger’s Carnival I didn’t get a look in for the October edition (which I’m not bitter about). And the same thing happened with the fortnightly Carnival of the Godless (which I am bitter about since the last edition had only about one third as many entries as usual). So, I wasn’t in a carnival mood so NOBODY got slinky carnival babe photos. SO HERE IS WHAT YOU DO.

YOU NOMINATE SOME OF MY POSTS FOR THE CARNIVALS, AND I WILL PROVIDE THE DANCING GIRLS!

All the info is on the links below which are also on the sidebar.

• Biblical Studies Carny
• Carnival of the Cats
• Carnival of the Godless
• Humanist Symposium

AND THEN… Just the other day, the (unglorious) Dr. Jim (West) whinged that all I feature here are “skanky” Rio Carnival women, even though he himself has been known to dabble in the “photoGRAPHIC arts” (i.e., on the scandalous side of the lens) of late.

What the heck am I supposed to blog about?

 

So, just to cheer me up and to get both sides of the blinkin’ complain-o-chorus off my case, here is something that should satisfy everyone!

Below the break

YES INDEED! ITS THE

CARNIVAL OF SLINKY BIBLE BABES!
Part the First.

 

First off is the First One:

Eve

Ulla Bergryd as Eve from the 1966 “The Bible” (Director John Huston).

Ok, I suppose I should also include a blog post about Eve. Here is Jim West from Sept. 2008 discussing a claim that Eve’s burial site has been found. Notice that he calls it “bunk”. We know what he has been thinking about. That’s right, dancing.

 

Potipher’s wife

Pauline Frederick as Potiphar’s wife. Photo taken in 1910

For those who don’t know the story, one of the sons of Jacob ended up in Egypt slaving for a guy named Potiphar. Potiphar’s missus rather liked Joe and grabbed onto his robe. Joseph ran away in his birthday suit only to be arrested after the jilted Mrs. Potiphar accuses him of rape. In April of this year Chris Heard wondered who Potiphar was mad at (I bet it was the guy who first set him up with her…)

 

Pharaoh’s daughters

Ok, there are two of interest. The first was the girl who found baby Moses in a basket in the Nile and adopted him.  Matt Page at the Bible Film Blog had a post this past July on an 8 minute film from 1910 on the scene: Henri Andréani’s Moïse Sauvé des Eaux. I couldn’t find a still from the film, but I did find this:

 

Joan Collins in Land of the Pharaohs from 1955 is probably totally historically accurate. Found the pic at DoctorMacro.

The other Pharaoh’s daughter is Solomon’s wife. It should be a different daughter. Probably neither Moses or Solomon  existed, but they didn’t exist at rather different times. Couldn’t find any pictures of Mrs. Solomon, either. Here is a reasonable facsimile.

 

Ummm, I suppose I should find a blog post about this…. I’ll um, get right around to it. The picture might need more study, first, ummmm, just for research’s sake, of course…

Moving right along, Solomon was quite the lady’s man. He even showed all his assets for visiting monarchs:

Queen of Sheba

Gina Lolabrigida in Solomon and Sheba

Now the Queen of Sheba was rich, powerful, clever, and almost completely topless. Alas, Solomon did not marry her, laments Renita J. Weems in a post from September who would probably be outraged at being included in so objectifying a carnival, so don’t go around assuming that she agrees to any of the vile sexist drivel.

 

Now, then, who else to include? We can’t have a carnival without

 

 

Delilah

 

Hedy Lamarr in de Mille’s Samson and Delilah.

As it tuns out, Matt Page has a post on this very film!

Anyway, one more will bring us to the end of Part the First, and who else would would do other than

Jezebel!

Hmmmmm, Paulette Goddard..mmmm…. She also starred in my all time favourite movie of all of forever, The Great Dictator with Charlie Chaplain:

There is a whole industry devoted to defeating the “Jezebel Spirit”. Go on, just google “Jezebel Spirit” and you will see what I mean.

Yeah, “throw her down”, hope she calls the police, ya $#@*%!

 

Well, I would have thought Christians might have wanted her to keep her veils on. Oh well, who am I to judge.  Here is a mostly unveiled Jezebel…

 

Well, what the hell, let’s have some “music”!

See Part 2 of Slinky Bible Babes!

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