A Do-It Myself Carnival of Godlessness

I have no idea why the Carnival of the Godless fizzled. The last one at the start of November was very short, and then there has been nothing. Alas.

So here are some of my favourite godless and less-gods-the better-posts from folks on my blogroll over the last little while!

moar funny pictures

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One Minion’s Opinion reminisces about a favourite childhood show, a bit of sentimentality brought about by ChristWire’s very rational, serious and not at all satirical essay on the fact that God hates the homo-Smurfs (and so should you), and there was only one lady Smurf.

Oh, but Christwire isn’t actually freaking out about homosexual smurfs. They’re getting their freak on about how the sultry Smurfette is the only chick in a land of men. (Sic throughout – FYI: homonyms only sound homosexual, dear deer reed readers…)

My dear White Christian American friends, I am hear [sic - here] today to alert the God-fearing American public of yet another subversive attempt of the homo-infested Hollywood to further promote the homo-gay agenda. Homowood is resurrecting this 1980`s television series that was riddled with homogay undertones and, just as horrible, was targeted at none other than CHILDREN!

Methinks Minion became a Poe*-Smurf, but she did discover that there has been talk of  a Smurf movie out in 2011.

I never could stand those little blue buggers (and buggerette).

* Poe’s Law: “Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won’t mistake for the real thing.”

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Michael Fridman is A Nadder, a great godless site, and he is a very good Bible Blogger too. He has blogged his way right through Job, and more recently has turned his attention to 1 Samuel with a little post called A Real Biblical Marriage (1 Samuel 1).

Now that I’ve finished blogging through the entire book of Job, time to start another book of the Bible. Samuel is the next logical choice — it’s my favourite book because it is most like a novel. There’s a definite, coherent plot, it’s structured quite well and rather than copious amounts of law or poetic rambling we are treated to a true masterpiece of narrative fiction.

However YHWH is a petty tribal god and can be bought with gifts. In her pain, Hannah makes a vow that if she gets pregnant with a male child (otherwise what’s the point?!) she’ll dedicate the son to YHWH and make sure he never cuts his hair (ie. she’ll make him a Nazirite according to the laws in Numbers 6). This sounds good to the good God, since he will now get to keep the boy for life.

I don’t know how many other bibliobloggers have him on their blogrolls, but he is very perceptive and entertaining. Here is the link to his Blogging the Bible series.

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Bay of Fundie has a great continuing series describing his madcap adventure is stupid-land attending a “Darwin was wrong” seminar.

Here is Part Five!

If you’re going to lie, lie big! “[S]cience is debunking every aspect of Darwin’s hypothesis[!]”

That’s what’s great about living in a fantasy world. You can wave your hands and all of your problems go away. Evolution: *Poof!* It’s gone. Atheists: *Poof!* They’re gone. The Establishment Clause: *Poof!* It’s gone.

Meanwhile, back on Earth, evolution is stronger than ever, there are more atheists than ever, and the Separation Clause… Umm… It’s actually looking a little faint. Damn!! Their magic really does work! Quick! Somebody nominate some Supreme Court justices!

The Sensuous Curmudeon turns the heat up on the Discoveroids of the Discovery Institution for their pissant take on “Climategate”.

It began here: Thrilled About ClimateGate, but the Discoveroids couldn’t control themselves. Matters swiftly escalated to this: The Mask Falls Away. (Hey, that one post got almost 9,000 hits so far.) That’s where we identified the “vindication of all kooks” doctrine — which holds that if the legitimate views of global warming skeptics had been wrongly suppressed, then all science dissent has been similarly mistreated, and therefore the science-denial of creationism is now respectable.

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The Godless Girl goes all Mark Twainian in Lies, Damn Lies and Lunatics Part 2, not talking healing claims on faith.

Click here to watch both clips side-by-side.

In clip 1 Bentley speaks of a woman whose legs get beaten like a baseball bat on the stage. In clip 2 he’s telling the same story (you can hear the similar lead-in about “crippled people” and “not one”) but this time it’s a small boy whose legs God says to beat on the stage. So which is it, a male or female? I believe these tall tales are fabricated for theatrics and to give the audience a sense of awe and to gain trust before they step up to be healed. Hardly a  trustworthy man of God!

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The Tangled Up in Blue Guy has finally seen the light and is now telling atheists to “Stop it” and just go back to being retend believers so we don’t cause offence (or get sarcastic).

It is time for atheists to leave well enough alone.  We’ve had our say, we’ve had our moment in the sun and now it is time to go back to being nice and quiet and let the Christians guard over us, so that we can all live and let live and no one will ever talk about the ways that religion rules our lives unfairly again.

To all Christians I apologize for being so uppity. I promise to be good.  My hat is in my hand, and excuse me while I go to the back of the bus and get off at my stop and hope that none of you are dishonored again by having to look at me.

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Good Grief! The Unrepentant Old Hippy is unconvinced that the timing of Obama’s last T.V. special, which pre-empted the airing of Charlie Brown’s Christmas special was a Muslim plot. Silly girl.

Russell Wiseman, mayor(!) of Arlington, Tennessee, claimed that Obama’s speech on Afghanistan this week was deliberately timed to block the airing of “A Charlie Brown Christmas”…. because he’s a Muslim. No, I’m not kidding:

The mayor of a suburban Memphis city accused President Barack Obama of deliberately timing his speech about the war in Afghanistan this week to block the airing of the “Peanuts” Christmas television special.

According to The Commercial Appeal, Arlington Mayor Russell Wiseman posted the statements on his Facebook page and said the president is Muslim.

Blag Hag tackles Tim Tebow’s Well versed and video’s face. She writes:

This isn’t about censoring Christians so that they can never talk about their faith. There is a time and place for such discussions, and representing a public university in college football is not it. This is about illustrating that you’re rewarded for expressing your Christianity, but everyone who disagrees better keep it to themselves. Christians are a privileged group, and crying “Oppression!” as loudly as they can doesn’t change the facts.

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Greta Christina is one of the best godless bloggers around. She wonders what a truly metaphorical religion would be like

I was debating the other day with a believer who was getting bent out of shape about how religion was just a story people found comforting. People didn’t have to believe religion was literally true for it to make a difference in their lives, he insisted. So why was I being so intolerant and mean and trying to take it away? And it suddenly struck me:

The version of religion he’s talking about?

It’s Trekkies.

Anyway, that’s my little Carnival of Godlessness. Hope you liked it. So, lets have some music!