New Homeopathic Degree Announced

Got this in my Inbox today, and so I thought I would pass it on. The U. of L. is now at the forefront of this kind of research.

From the Office of JOHN VOKEY,
Vice President of Profundity and Hair Dressing
University of Lethbridge


The University of Lethbridge announced today that it will offer the first homeopathic degree.  Other institutions offer degrees in homeopathy, but the University of Lethbridge offers the first, fully homeopathic degree.  To provide as effective a degree as possible, we dilute the curriculum to next to nothing: there are no courses, no lectures, no exams, no papers, nothing.  In fact, we took all of those processes and procedures, and diluted them one million times.  If you can find *any* content at all, we will refund your tuition.  We do warn potential students that this degree is therefore immensely powerful.  Fees are commensurate.

Graduate homeopathic degrees are also available, but use dilutions of one billion times (Masters homeopathic degrees) and one trillion times (Ph.D. homeopathic degrees).  Admission is highly competitive, and GRE, LSAT, MCAT, MYCAT, and YOURCAT records are required for application.  Diluting your application with irrelevant material will make it more powerful.

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I hate to blow my own shofar, but I was the most successful professor involved in the pilot project for this new degree for the past several years. I have a 5000 page Professional Activities Report to prove just how diluted my activities actually were.

6 Responses to “New Homeopathic Degree Announced”

  1. Steve Wiggins Says:

    Where do I apply? I obviously need some radical retraining!

  2. Al Says:

    Very funny. I wonder how many people will actually apply to the U of L now.

  3. Chuck Grantham Says:

    I got my BS degree using homeopathic principles in regards to homework.

  4. John Says:

    Yeah! I was one only people left at the U of L without a VP (or Director) title, but Dr. Jim had given me one. I am humbled.

    Vice President of Profundity and Hair Dressing

  5. Dr. Jim Says:

    I thought you might like that. I expect you to put a proper sign up on your office door with your new titles.

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