If Bibliobloggers had a band…

First, a hat tip to our Conductor, Daniel O. McLellan, without whom all us chickens wouldn’t know who should be in the top row!

And we also need some recognition of the music industry’s protector of family values… Jim West!

So, here is the band!

Drums: Neil Godfrey of Vridar ’cause he marches to the myth of his own drumming, or something. Look, I’m not any good at figures of speech, sue me.

But notice the figure of Slinky Jazz Babe, Rita Morena. I did.

Saxophone: Steve Wiggins of Sects and Violence, and if I have to explain this connection you really need to go get blown laid played. Or something.  I also don’t have a budget for a real joke writer.

Bass: N.T. Wrong, Keeper of the Top 50 Bibliobloggers List
Guitar: Judy Redman (http://judyredman.wordpress.com/). Judy commented here that she was amazed to find herself actually on the Top 50 list for December. N.T. has since found one of the ways to leave her off the 50 list (by abandoning “Jouissance-Meter” but hopefully she will be back with a vengeance (or at least a big solo…)

Well, she gets one here in the Sweet Tooth Jam!

More Guitar: Yours truly, Dr. Jim, ’cause hey, although we are all dust in the wind, the whole universe revolves around mi.

Violin: John Loftus, Debunking Christianity for defeating devils (and other superstitions…)

Piano: James McGrath (Exploring our Matrix). Note the science fictiony elements. I couldn’t resist.

Vocals: (Male) Doug Chaplin, AKA Clayboy, who just can’t get into some tunes (see This Post).

Vocals (Female) April DeConick at Forbidden Gospels, who doesn’t put up with rubbish from men.

Banjo: Bob Cargill, The XKV8R (can you dig it?)

Background vocals: Stephanie Fisher and  Mary, Dr. Jim’s Future Better Half, who don’t blog, but make some comments around here.

Muppaphone Joel Watts Unsettled Christianity, because if boppin’ critters on the head for artistic expression isn’t unsettling, I don’t know what is!

 

And besides the band, lets not forget the
SBL Bibliobloggers Glee Club!

And one more of you know who: I couldn’t resist:

Should Christians Even Be Allowed to Join the Society of Biblical Literature?

Yes, of course. But now that I’ve got your attention, here’s a slightly belated Slinky Jazz Babe ™ to celebrate my Top 50 Alexa ranking on January’s Biblioblogger’s list!  I’m at # 37 on the Alexa rankings, a ranking based solely on the number of hits

And I’m at #7 in the Top 10 list based on reader’s votes! There aren’t a lot of votes cast, so this isn’t all that prestigious a ranking (yet) but for next month, you can vote for me be emailing bibliobloggerstop10 ( @ ) yahoo.com.

Now, the Alexa rankings do confuse me a bit. The ranking at the Top 50 gives me a number of 642,491, but since I’ve started checking in December, I’ve never seen this low of a figure for me. I’ve been checking my standing at Alexa (follow this link and you can insert the URL of any site you like), but the lowest figure I’ve seen is todays, 699,542, and a US only ranking of  191,407. In fact, I’ve never seen the Thinking Shop below 750,000 over the past 2 months (I check every week or so). Could someone enlighten me?

Anyway, here’s

Kate McGarry


http://www.katemcgarry.com/

I’ve had her 2008 album, “If less is More, Nothing is everything”, for a few month’s and it gets played a good amount.  The rest are on my “To Buy” list, and  a new one to be released in May or June is one my “eagerly awaited” list.

If Less is More

The opening tune is a jazz standard, “Let’s face the music and dance” but her version is great with its tempo slowed down dramatically. Rather than fall into the Slinky Jazz Babe Singing Standard Jazz Pieces Standarly pattern, her arrangements are a more  interpretative while still remaining quite accessible. There are also a number of pop tunes jazzed up and slowed down, and they all work really well.

She does a GREAT version of the Cars’ hit “Just What I Needed”.  This too, is slowed right down and the effect is really enjoyable. It becomes introspective and actually has some emotional content, something I would have thought was impossible for a Cars song (never liked them much). You can here

She also does Dylan’s “The Times They Are A-changin” and is a solid version with some nice organ work. It’s not quite as impressive an interpretation as Nina Simon’s, but well worth including on the album.

On the other hand. “You don’t have to cry” is simply wonderful, especially in terms of the beautiful vocal arrangements.

 

www.jazzkaar.ee

 

Here she is on a Boston T.V. show doing “The meaning of the blues” from “The Target”, from 2007

 

Chava Rosenfarb, Yiddish writer and Shoa survivor, passes away

I was deeply saddened to read in the Lethbridge Herald today that Chava Rosenfarb  passed away on Sunday, aged 87. I met Chava once, a few years ago when I was doing a talk at the public library and she came with her daughter, Goldie Morgentaler. She was a very kind and gracious lady, and Lethbridge has lost a great woman.

Chava was well known for her Yiddish books which expressed her experiences as a young Polish Jew during WW 2. She was an inmate of both Auschwitz and Bergen Belsen.

According to the Herald’s story, encouraged by her father to write while they were in the Lodz Ghetto before being sent to Auschwitz. Her father died when the train he was on bombed as it was leaving Dachau. She emigrated to Canada in 1950 and moved from Montreal to Lethbridge in 2003 where her daughter, Goldie Morgentaler, is a U. of Lethbridge English professor.

While in Montreal, she took up writing again: poetry, a play and the three volume Tree of Life, which deals with the Lodz Ghetto. Further works in Yiddish followed, translated for English publication by her daughter.

She was awarded an honorary degree by the U. of Lethbridge in 2006. Her convocation address is posted on the university’s website by Goldie:

I never sat in a brightly lit classroom absorbing information from professors who were experts in their fields; I never haunted libraries in search of books to help me write my papers; I never stayed up all night working on assignments, nor studied for exams with my classmates.

My university was the Second World War. My classroom was the Lodz Ghetto, my teachers were my fellow inmates there — and especially the poets, painters and intellectuals of the doomed writersπ community, incarcerated between the barbed wire walls of the ghetto, who accepted me at a very early age as a member. So I am a graduate of the Holocaust, of the death camps of Auschwitz and Bergen Belsen. I have matriculated in one of the greatest tragedies known to man. I have a degree from no other university. At least, not until today.

…I write in Yiddish because it was the language of my home in Poland, it was the language of my childhood and my community; it was the language I knew like the map of my own heart.  So I wrote my novels in Yiddish out of a sense of loyalty to the vanished world of my youth, out of a sense of obligation to a world that no longer existed.

…And so here I am — a Yiddish writer on the prairies. A Yiddish writer who must depend on translation in order to be read. A Yiddish writer who has longed all her life for a formal education and an opportunity to belong to an academic community. And here in Lethbridge, so far away from where my lifeπs journey began, as if by magic, that wish has been granted to me. Suddenly I have been given the opportunity — at the young age of 83 — that I no longer expected ever to receive, of having a university degree, and what is more, it is a degree conferred on me by this wonderful institution in this peaceful and pleasant city that I now call home.

This degree that I — and you, my dear graduates — are receiving today is a sign of our joining the community of scholars and achievers, of those who have attained an education, an education that is all too often taken for granted in this free country of Canada. Now you might look at me and say, this lady has lived a long life and she has written books and won prizes and made something of a name for herself — all without a university education. But what I want to tell you is that I am living proof of how easily the right to an education can be taken away, of how fragile a thing education is—subject to the vagaries of discrimination and prejudice, to the whims of politics, war and upheavals.

You may be thinking to yourselves, surely this can never happen in Canada and I certainly hope that what I have lived through can never happen here. But then who would have imagined that the devastation and horrors of the Holocaust would have happened in the heart of civilized Europe—and yet they did.



Jim West is the Carnival Queen (eww….)

Jim West is the host of the January Bibliobloggers’ Carnival over at his “blog“. As usual, lots of good and interesting (and some bad and interesting) stuff are highlighted. I missed many the posts when they were new, so its fun to go back and have a look at some. But why the rodeo theme to the Carnival?

Anyway, here is Jim as Carnival Queen.

Jim says that  Chris Heard’s post on the first of Genesis’ creation stories is “a small window on his forthcoming Genesis commentary”. Chris doesn’t mention the commentary in the post, but if there is one in the works, I’m genuinely interested in it. Perhaps Chris just posts a lot on Genesis and Jim is just calling attention to that. I don’t know.

One little nit to pick, though. Chris refers to the use of the term Hexaemeron to refer to the six days of creation, a term more common in the past (indeed, this is the first time I’ve even heard of it!). Ok, fine, but then he uses it himself. This really bugs me. English is a perfectly serviceable language and there is no reason to perpetuate the false precision and pretension of unusual foreign terms. And don’t get me started on the Tetragrammaton or Sitz im Leben, either. Not that unusual in English biblical studies but still, quite unnecessary. Grrrr…. Anyway, Chris is asking in his post whether one prefers the Hexaemeron creation week story (see, isn’t that easy?) or the paradise story. I would have to go with the first commenter that the juxtaposition between the two is the most interesting thing from my point of view (along with with banishment of any indication of the Babylonian and Ugaritic Israelite Chaoskampf Combat myth that one finds in Isaiah and some Psalms).

Joel Watts takes on Death in the Garden and asks how Adam and Eve would have known to fear death if it didn’t exist and ruminates a bit on evolution.

I didn’t think I’d get a look-in at all for this carnival, but Jim was kind enough to include this:

Jim Linville opens the window on his semester’s work (though I really think he’s opened the window to get the cat litter box smell out of the room- but never mind).  I’d love to be a fly on the wall in one of his classes.  I think he should YouTube them.  They’d be a hit (and much more interesting than the dry stuff we’re usually subjected to when some prof’s lecture… heaven help us).

Well, if he’s willing to come up to Lethbridge he can sit in on my classes. He’d best do the reading beforehand, though!  Carnival complete, its back to the regular programming at Jim’s Zwinglius Redivivus Wingnut Revival

And to tell the Truth™, the first photo is not really of Jim West. Here is one, though:


 

New Journal of Hebrew Scriptures Article: Elie Assis on Zechariah 8

This just in from Ehud Ben Zvi, editor of the Journal of Hebrew Scriptures:

Journal of Hebrew Scriptures – Volume 11: Article 1 (2011)

Elie Assis, “Zechariah 8 and its Allusions to Jeremiah 30–33 and Deutero-Isaiah”
Abstract:
This article argues that the first eight oracles in Zechariah 8:2-19 are based on the ideas and vocabulary of Jeremiah 30–33, while the last two oracles, vv 20–23, have no parallel in Jeremiah, but correspond to oracles of the anonymous prophet in Isaiah 40–66. Zechariah selectively used and adapted the material of his predecessors, in order to address the specific social and political reality of his generation. The ways in which this process was carried out are assessed in this article.

To access the article directly please go to http://www.arts.ualberta.ca/JHS/Articles/article_148.pdf

There is also a new review:
Anderson, Gary A., Sin: A History (New Haven: Yale University Press, 2009). (Reviewed by Micah D. Kiel)

Free, open access scholarship. What a grand idea!

Urban Dreams and Realities Conference, Oct. 2011

I’ve known about this for a few weeks, but I decided to post the SOTS announcement about a conference at the University of  Alberta, Edmonton Alberta.

The announcement is from my good friend, Francis Landy.

Urban Dreams and Realities:
An Interdisciplinary Conference on the City in Ancient Cultures 21-3 October 2011, Edmonton, Alta.

Hosted by the Department of History and Classics Graduate Program –
Ancient Societies and Cultures Specialization

What makes a city more than just a lot of people living in one place? This conference will explore how that question was framed and answered in ancient societies all over the world, and to what extent it is possible to come up with a concept of “the city” that applies across cultural and geographical lines in the ancient world. We welcome abstracts from faculty and advanced graduate students on any aspect of urbanism and urban culture from the ancient civilizations of East Asia, South Asia, the Near East, the Mediterranean Basin or the Pre-Columbian Americas. A principal aim of the conference is to gather people working on similar topics from different disciplinary perspectives, and papers with a comparative focus are especially welcome. Papers and abstracts may be in either English or French.

Possible topics would include both how cities function in a concrete sense, and how they are conceived of more abstractly. Examples include:

Infrastructure and environmental impact of cities

Administrative and political roles

Economic functions of urban communities

Construction of urban vs. rural identity

Civic events, rituals and spectacles

The City as metaphor

The City as place of memory and memory as builder of cities

The relationship of the City to the Divine

The conference is taking place in conjunction with a seminar of the same title being taught collectively by faculty in the ASC specialization. A keynote lecture will be delivered by Prof. Dr. Josef Weisehöfer of the University of Kiel, and we anticipate publication of the proceedings. It may be possible for us to cover all or part of presenters’ travel expenses to Edmonton, but this cannot be known until after the deadline for submissions; we will therefore accept abstracts sent with the understanding that the submitter may not be able to attend if funding is unavailable.Abstracts of 200-400 words should be anonymous, with a separate page containing the following information, which is necessary as we are applying for funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada:

Title of Paper      Family name,   given name, initials

Institutional affiliation (if any) and department Degrees received; please specify the discipline

Recent positions held      Recent publications and those relevant to the theme of the conference

Audio-visual or other requirements

E-mail and postal address

Please send abstracts by 31 March (our replies will follow by 15 April) to Conference Organizer Adam Kemezis (kemezis@ualberta.ca), to whom other inquries should also be directed.

Slinky Bible Babes III, Now with dancing, singing, and some science fictiony goodness

Finally! Part III of my occassional series on SLINKY BIBLE BABES!

Go here for Part I, and here for Part II.

And a big thanks to Hal P.  for sending me the Queen of Sheba pic below (and therefore, reminding me that Part III was long overdue):

QUEEN OF SHEBA

I’ve featured the Queen in Part 1 (Gina Lolabrigida in Solomon and Sheba) but since Hal was so kind, revisiting the easily impressed Sheban monarch is hardly a chore!  He send this photo of Betty Blythe in the 1921 Fox feature, The Queen of Sheba. According to Wikipedia, no copy of the film survived a fire in the 1930s. Alas.

But who else needs a mention? I’ve featured Eve, Jezebel, Delilah, Bathsheba, Ruth, Esther, Sarah, Rebecca, Mary Magdalene, Whore of Babylon, Potiphar’s wife, Solomon’s Egyptian Mrs.!

**********************

Well, first, lets go for the most famous:

Mary the “Virgin”.

From AllMegaStar

Here is Keisha Castle-Hughes who starred as Mary in the 2006 film, The Nativity Story. You can tell from this publicity photo that she is well suited to playing the role of the pious virgin. She is wearing white, and turning her back on a golden idol of some god who forgot his pants. Some gods are so silly.

Add an Image
Stolen from Eobx.net

The good Virgin made an earlier appearance at Dr. Jim’s, albeit in an altogether different context, in which Vatican condemned a fashion show by Chilean designer Ricardo Oyarzun.

The Blessed Virgin, of course, famously makes appearances all over the world. This includes a gig at a Glasgow art school:

And she sells Mexican Magazines, being a patron saint of literature, or something.

Of course, Mary is not the only slinky Bible Babe associated with the Nativity.

***********************

Elizabeth

Mary’s relative Elizabeth was also there. she ended up being the mother of John the Baptist (and aunt of Bill the Presbyterian).

From Canmag.com

Shohreh Aghdashloo as Elizabeth in The Nativity Story. Now, she seemed an natural for the role, since she, well, looks good in blue:

http://justjared.buzznet.com

*******************

SALOME

And just so no one thinks this is all just sexist droolings, I thought we should introduce some art, and so, we cannot miss the dancing Salome, over whom men loose their heads (with apologies to Elizabeth, above, concerning her bouncing baby baptist).

www.seraphicpress.com

Theda Bara, in a still from the 1918 film, Salome.

Rita Hayworth also played Salome in 1953.

From Movies Kick Ass

Ah, but there are classics:

Fritzi Schaffer as Salome, ca. 1910.

An interesting one is the 2002  Salome, which is done flamenco style. The staring role is played by Aida Gomez.

From IMDB: The story of Salomé told as one of extreme love and vengeance. A director prepares a troupe of flamenco dancers for a performance. He summarizes the story and describes his spring for the drama’s action: Salomé’s attraction to John the Baptist. When the prophet rejects her, she seeks revenge. We meet the principals. We watch rehearsals, a dress rehearsal, and then the performance. The movie is both about the performance and about preparation for performance.

*****************

Michal

Well, let’s get Old Testamenty: Here’s Michal, one of King Dave’s lawfully wedded squeezes, and daughter of the guy God drove mad, Saul. Here she is, played by Cherie Lunghi in the 1985 film, King David (played by Richard Gere).

And before her, Guilia Rubini, in the 1960 film “David and Goliath” with Orson Wells as dear old daddy, Saul. Here Mical isn’t quite so, well, dangly.

***************

Abigail

Now, another of Dave’s brides is Abigail, who either inadvertently delivered a quasi-prophetic, hopelessly  pietistic, honestly humble and obsequious statement of David’s destiny as God’s chosen king, or masterfully played to his vanity and manipulated him like he was dumb as a stick (depends if you are following traditional exegesis or something with intelligence behind it), or both.

I found this photo allegedly of Abigail twisting David around her little finger (or just before she twisted herself around his legs, which sound like it might have been fun to be David) but no information was given as to who the actress is or which film version of the biblical story.

 

Jeaninallhonesty.blogspot.com

On the other hand, Lina Sastri played Abigail in the Gere film noted above.

torino.repubblica.it

I’ve already posted one Rebecca (Mrs. Isaac, Daughter in Law to the Great Daddy Abraham in Part 2 (Rachel Stirling in “In the Beginning”). At that point I was too lazy to look too hard for pics of Rebecca’s two daughters in law, the sisters Rachel and Leah (both Mrs. Jacob).

**************

Rachel and Leah

But I tried again. The 1995 T.V. film Joseph, however, has Alice Krige playing Rachel and Dominique Sanda as Leah. Well, I still couldn’t find any good stills of the sisters.  But I did find this, which is Alice Krige. Apparently.

 

www.ex-astris-scientia.org

Obviously, Jacob didn’t marry Rachel for her body. Just sayin’.  Ms. Krige is no stranger to Bible productions, appearing as Bathsheba in 1985 and we will get onto that in a moment. As far as sister Leah, I did find this picture of Dominique Sanda:

 

http://lo-bueno-si-breve.blogspot.com

Oh yeah, and there is this one:

I wonder which one was Jacob’s favourite?

*******************

Bathsheba

As noted already, Alice Krige played Bathsheba in 1985. Here is what she looked like in that movie.

http://www.krige-page.com/photos2.html

Of course, Bathsheba is famous for bathing in plain sight, letting David get an eyeful. You can tell that from the time her Bathsheba role in 1985 to her disembodies Star Trek appearence, she has learned a little discretion. But all of this is seems to be destiny. Here is another still of her Bathsheba:

http://www.krige-page.com/photos2.html

She is already getting a little borgy, don’t you think? I think I liked Michal’s bangly danglies (see above) a little better.

Here is Susan Hayward’s 1951 Bathsheba, a bathin’ she be, in case you hadn’t noticed.

http://www.coffeecoffeeandmorecoffee.com

Rahab

I’ll have to end this soon, so here is one more. The “working girl” from Jericho herself, Rahab. As we all know, when the Israelites were preparing to invade Canaan, they sent two spies to check out the situation in the first major city on the invasion path, Jericho. Like all good soldiers, the first thing they did was visit the local bordello. In the 1978 film Joshua and the Battle of Jericho, Sondra Currie played her.  Lindsay Kaufman was Rahab in the 2005, Bible Battles TV show.  Sadly I can’t find any still’s of either actresses performances in these production (and not one at all of of Kaufman), but here’s Sondra Currie and a song!

From Magnum-mania.com

Well, be fore we get to the song, here is Morena Baccarin, who played space hooker Inara in TV’s Firefly series.

Our singer is none other than Nichelle Nichols of Star Trek fame!

Go here for Slinky Bible Babes Part I, and here for Part II.

Call for Student Religious Studies Papers!

I’m sending another reminder of the RESEARCH IN RELIGIOUS STUDIES CONFERENCE April 30, May 1 2011 at the University of Lethbridge.

We are already receiving some fine proposals from near and far, and we are looking forward to a strong roster of undergrad and graduate presenters!

In previous years we’ve had 28-40 papers presented (the number often depends on our schedules vis-a-vis term end in other institutions), and the papers have covered the gamut of religious studies from Tantra to Early Church, ritual theory to Islamic discourses on democracy, and from Philosophy of Religion to Battlestar Galactica!

I would encourage readers attached to Religious Studies or related university departments repost or advertise the conference, especially if they are located in or near the Pacific Northwest region of the AAR / SBL. We have had students come from much further, some intrepid souls even ventured form the Eastern most corners of Canada and up from Vanderbilt in Tennessee! It is a great experience for students to show off their work and to see what other excellent students are working on. Great practice for grad. school and especially for presenting at professional conferences!

The conference is an opportunity for undergraduate and graduate level students to present papers on the history, belief, practices, cultural contexts, and artistic or literary expressions of any religious tradition.  Papers from every discipline within the academic fields of the humanities and social sciences are welcome.

It is open to students from any educational institute at any point in their educational career.  Although we encourage PhD students to attend, we are particularly seeking participation from undergraduate and masters level students.

~~~~~~~

The RRSC examines all academic pursuits of the methodological and technical aspects of religion, and the place of religion in society. We encourage all interested students to submit a brief (200-300 word) abstract of their proposed research and findings. Each abstract will be evaluated for content and quality of work for presentation at the conference.

How is the conference organized?
The Research in Religious Studies Conference is modeled on those hosted by the premier professional learned societies in religious studies: the American Academy of Religion, Society of Biblical Literature, and Canadian Society for the Study of Religion albeit with some important changes.
These conferences are typically organized into a set of “sessions” each featuring three or four presenters. Each presenter is given a specific amount of time to make her or his presentation and to allow for questions and discussions. Our conference follows the general tradition of 30 minutes per presentation, which means about 20 minutes for the actual paper and 10 for comments.
Sometimes, students suggest specific topics for a round table discussion, and we are always willing to hear ideas for those, too!
Each session has a presider, who introduces the speakers and oversees the discussion period. The presider is also the timekeeper, and may well cut a speaker off who goes over the time limit. The presider is also supposed to defuse any emotional showdowns, but having to do this is a very rare occurrence for us.
The sessions are organized on specific topics and 3 or 4 sessions may be going on at once. For most professional conferences, would-be presenters apply for the specific session, and only the 3 or 4 best ones are selected. This is not what we do, however. We referee the paper proposals first, and do the best we can to make relevant sessions out of the papers we have accepted. This means grouping the papers can be a very “creative” enterprise.

Here is a link to a pdf  Call for Papers poster to hang up in departments.

 

Putting Down Catholic Pat Downs

Saw this over at the BLOGGER WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED‘s blog (hi Jim! :) … damn, I let it slip), and it couldn’t go without comment.

The blogger in question comments on a news report claiming that Vatican’s crime rate, at least for minor crimes, is the highest of any city. With only 527 residents there were 171 prosecutions by the city’s prosecutor, the vast majority of which were for petty crimes like pickpocketing. A lot of suspects, however, “flee to Italy”.

The UNNAMED ONE concludes: “That’s both disheartening and unsurprising all at the same time…  The moral of the story?  Pat down your visitors, they’re probably criminals.” The visitors? One wonders what they consider “serious crimes”.  The brief news report includes this:

It has also been announced that Vatican’s measures aimed against money laundering were more strict than those in Italy, and that the pope last year set up a “financial information service” aimed at cooperating with other states and tracking movement of money.
The service is expected to start work in April of this year.

Notice the cooperation about money, but recall that only a little while ago we read about the demand issued by a Vatican official in 1997 that Irish clergy NOT cooperate with officials investigating clerical sexual abuse.

 

Found at Bambi's BlogAssSphere

A newly revealed 1997 letter from the Vatican warned Ireland’s Catholic bishops not to report all suspected child-abuse cases to police — a disclosure with the potential to fuel more lawsuits worldwide against the Vatican, which has long denied any involvement in coverups….

To this day, the Vatican has yet to endorse any of the Irish church’s three major policy documents since 1996 on reporting suspected child abuse to civil authorities. In his 2010 pastoral letter to the Irish people condemning pedophiles in the ranks, Pope Benedict XVI faulted Ireland’s bishops for failing to follow canon law and offered no explicit endorsement of child-protection efforts by the Irish church or state.  (CBC, Jan. 18, 2011)

Father Frank was hoping that after patting down would-be pickpockets at the Vatican for a while he could get his own congregation.

Pat down the visitors because they are probably criminals? The Church’s more serious crimes involve covering for clergy accused of patting people down inappropriately (and lets not forget how many priests helped escaping Nazis flee). They certainly don’t need more incentive to put their grubby hands on people!

Found at spicewriter.wordpress.com

 

 

An Ark of Bull, Giant, Unicorn, and Sheeple Doodoo

Ah, yes, the Answers in Genesis’ The Ark Encounter Theme Park!

The Ark is one of the best-known historical accounts in the Bible. Independent research has shown that millions will come to see it, and learn how it and the Flood were real events in history.

The Ark is being built on a beautiful rolling terrain site just off Interstate I-75, about 40 interstate miles from the Creation Museum in northern Kentucky (near Cincinnati). God willing and as the financial support isprovided, this spectacular reminder to the world is planned to open in the spring of 2014.

Deanne Galbraith over at Remnant of Giants, has wondered if the new, “life size” (or should it be “fantasy sized”  centrepiece of the proposed creationist, Noah’s Ark theme park will feature giants since, according to Genesis, two must have been recruited by Noah since they appear both before and after the flood narrative.

The giant loving Galbraith writes:

The theme park, to be called Ark Encounter, is also aiming to gather $25m donations from the public. Yet, before I spend $1000 to donate a plank to the proposed theme-park, I want to be dang sure it’s going to have Giants. Heck, I’m going to demandGiants, even if I’m only donating $100 for a wooden peg.

He has written to them, asking about the giants. No answer yet, but as he reports, Answers in Genesis, is asserting that there will be unicorns.

Now, there are other points of “historical” detail that needs consideration. For instance, will there be a poop-deck?

CANNED HAM COMICS, great stuff!

I mean, honestly, all those critters will produce a LOT of poop. Who is going to shovel it? Or did it have flush toilets? Probably not, since the Bible does not describe it. With only eight people aboard, there would be TONS of poop to shovel and so, there would probably NEVER have been a single day on that barge in which there were not piles of oozing, smelly, excrement left laying around waiting for (probably) one daughter in law of Noah to come shovel it out.

 

Vote for my kitteh!

On which deck level would be the most prolific poopers like elephants, brontosauruses, etc.? Having them on the upper decks might cause some stability problems, but putting them in the lower decks (with very high ceilings) would mean the poop would not only have to be shovelled but lifted to get them over the side. SO:

Will the Ark Encounter have big piles of model poop? Or real poop?

From Rhyming Verse, by Dorothy Thompson

 

Now, I don’t know how many people will visit the park on any given day, nor do I know how many different species of land critters and birds and so forth must have been on the ark (must have been THOUSANDS). But will there be proportionally comparable number of toilet cleaners at the park as there were poop-shovellers on the ark? Inquiring minds want to know!

 

From

From LikePage.blogspot.com

So, I inquired:

Hi. I’m wondering about the historical accuracy of the proposed Ark at the Ark Encounters Theme Park, especially as it depicts the quality of life for Noah and his family Given the large number of animals and small numbers of people aboard to feed and care for the cargo, will the reproduction include multiple statues of the people doing multiple tasks at one time, or will there be only one of each person, with some required explanation as to how these few could do all the necessary work?
And given the above, will there be representations of all the animal poop that will need to be shovelled, and will its smell be historically accurate?

I will,of course, keep everyone informed about any response! Of course, it’s always possible that the giants helped!

And  you can also get one of these from icie2.com to help save your filthy lucre to buy a plank for the new park! Hey, you know what they say about biblical literalism, that shit’s expensive!

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