I Don’t Always Mock Chuck Norris…

But when I do, he cries.

Here’s one I found

http://diylol.com

 

I made this one:

http://diylol.com

 I made this one, too.

 

And the Lord Human made Huey, Dewey, Louie, Wall-E, and Eve from the dust of excess. My SBL Abstract

I’ve been working on an SBL paper proposal and just submitted it. It’s probably full of typos. As usual. And silliness. As usual.

Its for the “Scripture and Film” section. Never submitted a paper on movies before, so I’m kind of excited. I really hope they take it. Here is the abstract:

http://cigaretteburnscinema.blogspot.com

And the Lord Human made Huey, Dewey, Louie, Wall-E, and Eve from the dust of excess.  The deification of humanity in Silent Running and Wall-E.

The 1972 film, Silent Running (dir. Douglas Trumbull) and the 2008 hit animated feature, Wall-E  (dir. Andrew Stanton), revolve around themes of a future Earth unable to support vegetation. Both films freely adapt Genesis’s stories of paradise  and Noah’s ark, albeit to different ends. Neither film is a warning about the death of humanity because of environmental damage, but a call to “enlightenment”, i.e., to knowledge of a true relationship between nature and humanity. Yet, both films undermine this truth even as it is asserted as they seemingly put an ignorant humanity in the place of a deity as creators of robots that carry “true” human ideals.

Silent Running is set aboard one of a number of  giant spacecraft housing the last remnants of Earth’s forests. The story revolves around a crew member, Freeman Lowell and the ship’s three robots (named Huey, Dewey, and Louie). Enraged by an order to destroy the forest-domes so that the ship can return to commercial use, Lowell murders his crew-mates. Before committing suicide, he leaves one forest-dome in the care of Dewey.  Silent Running’s idealistic but disturbing hero is both Adam and Cain but also God, in appointing Dewey to biblical Adam’s task of preserving the garden.

The 2008 hit animated feature, Wall-E stars an earth-bound machine and his robotic romantic interest, Eve. Wall-E is a kind of inverted Adam figure, cleaning up the planet after it was abandoned by humans until vegetation can grow again.  Again, humanity is in no danger of extinction although they are unknowingly in the control of a computer system that does not want an Exodus back to earth. With children in its intended audience, Wall-E is a far more optimistic film.

The two films “humanize” the robots with emotions and they become idealized humans charged with a “sacred” mission on behalf of “natural” humanity. The films appear to be asking whether people can live up to the human potential of their own creations. As creators, however, humans assume the role of gods, but the two films differ on the potential of humanity to be restrained by the products of its own ingenuity.

 

 

http://www.wall-e-wallpaper.com/wall-e-wallpapers2.html

 

 

Where is Chris Tilling now? Who know, but we know how he got there!

Biblioblogger Chris Tilling usually ends up in some pretty funny places, at least according to another (alleged) blogger who often reports on reports of Tilling’s reported appearances. I’ve no idea where the heck he is now, but here is how he “navigates”. He has guidance from the heavens: A Godly Path Satellite!

 

We all know where he is trying to get to, though. He is trying to come to God:

 

Hesus H. Cobbler! He’s Good for the Sole

Saw this at Dhormockery.com I’m not sure, but I think the site is in Hindi. Can’t read any of the text, but this is surely part of the Global Evil Atheist Conspiracy (Blasphemous Iconography Command), and whoever is behind it does a great job finding good images. Translates a lot of cartoons into her/his own language too.

 Also found this there. Take that, you irresponsible pet owning deities! It’s from the Poo-attitudes

Tommy Gun Molly’s Swanky Jazz Bar and Seminary: First Semester of Hebrew Almost Over

And what a short but glorious trip it’s been! It all began about a month ago in my capacity as general dog’s body (for those of you who know Molly, pun intended) at Tommy Gun Molly’s Swanky Jazz Bar and Seminary.

So, crank on some tunes, to get you in the mood

And here is Molly, Owner and Proprietor

 Here are some pictures of the bar taken just before the Semi-Grand Opening when there was still a bit of work to do. Photos by Mary.

The front bar with 3 beer taps. I wish I had a better light installed
in front of the bar, but we thought the available light would be enough
for reading and marking papers. Alas, it was not, hence the temporary desk lamp.
Kegs are stored under the tap tower, the small cabinet to the left of the
bar holds the beer gas tank.

Here’s the back bar with associated bottles.

So anyway,  I tapped a keg of Samuel Adam’s Boston Lager at the great “Oh Crap, it’s started again, terms start party in January. It’s officially designated as a Great Beer, and is much to the liking of one of Molly’s regulars,  Kevin McGeough, who teaches Hebrew and Archy of the Ancient Near East at the U of Lethbridge and Silliness 101 at Molly’s Seminary. It appears the good Dr. drank tons of the stuff in his Harvard Days.

Kevin McGeough, aspiring archaeologist, upon arrival at Harvard.

Kevin McGough after his first Harvard semester.

Now, kegs are pretty anonymous. One gets the big metal can with perhaps a small label tied to it and a small plastic tap-cap.  But much to our surprise, here is the Sam Adam’s Cap (as photographed by Kevin). A full publication report on the epigraphy and so on will come eventually be forthcoming…

Very curious. It seems to have some weird language written on it, and so it is obviously a ritual item. Kevin says it’s Hebrew. Very interesting. Not a bit of English, so it is obviously ancient.  The Dead Sea Scrolls predicted this, I think.

Claude Mariottini has been posting some things on ancient beer. First, he wrote about Sumerian brewing and, once having had his fill of that (sorry, Claude, couldn’t resist) started talking about Sex, Beer, and Politics. Doubtlessly, he retain a certain level of academic (and personal) dignity that Dr. McGeough drank away years ago.  Oh, well, Kevin is still welcome at Molly’s for some reason. I think Molly lets him drop by only because he is deathly allergic to her. Here is a modern picture of him taken just before one of his seminars.

Nope, Dr. McGeough doesn’t put up with any shirt in his class!

Now, what do we at Molly’s pour our Sam Adams (or Big Rock I.P.A.) or future brews into? There is ONLY one ritually pure receptacle! A holy (not holey) Mikveh of Merriment!

Hats off to James Spinti of Eisenbrauns books who gave me a whale of a deal on a whole CASE of the now famous Drunkenness of Ilu 25 oz. Beer Mugs that Eisenbrauns started selling a few years ago. I met James at the publishers display in San Fran. in Nov. 2011,  and I told him about the bar and was ogling the display mug. I had one from the year before, but hell, since I was in the market for beer glasses… In any case, James gave me a great deal on a box of sixteen and I would pay the shipping. Even that worked out great. I expected it to be really expensive to Canada, but Eisenbrauns contacted me a week or so later with the details and it was a bit of a shock. To be fair the mugs are really heavy and there were 16 of them. Still, Eisenbrauns laid out all the options and I’m grateful for their work on this. Most companies would just ship stuff and damn the cost to the customer. The big issue is the brokerage fees some companies charge to get things across borders. This sometimes will damn near double to the cost. Anyway, Eisenbrauns gave me a bit of time to sort stuff out, and so, in the end, I had the mugs sent to my colleague’s parent’s house in Montana, for a ridiculously low rate, and my friend brought them back after their Christmas journey home, and didn’t have to pay duty on them!   Anyway, a great big thank you to John and Lisa and to James Spinti and the crew at Eisenbrauns! There, go buy something from them!

But, back to Molly’s!  Here are half of the glasses

The bar has ALL the modern conveniences, including a TELEPHONE! here it is, just unpacked with the cord still a little kinky from being tightly packed. If Claude comes around, he might want to still use his cell phone…

Molly’s, like all classy establishments, does have policies about the phone. This sign is now proudly displayed beside said equipment.

And we do expect people to be civilized, Dr. McGeough notwithstanding (much).  This is my crappy out of focus photo,  I must get Mary to get her real camera [with the clean lens] to take some more snaps.

And some more signs of the Apocalypse. Notice the continuing theme of Celebrity Endorsements..

Ah, yes, the music!  Of course it is a Swanky Jazz Bar, so there must be some swanky Jazz!

In case the first youtube is over, here’s the Charleston!

Oc course, Molly’s does have a  House Band!

CURLEY “SAXOPHONE”  WHISKERS 
& his
SWINGING HAIRBALL BAND

Also available for weddings, graduations, Bar/Bat Mizvahs, Lent, funerals, whatever.

Sadly, the group did not have a bass player in the set, so they are currently auditioning one.
His style is not quite the same, but he is a swinging little Jazz Cat all the same!

My bad snap of the wall just at the bottom of the stairs at Molly’s entrance. The sign was thrown into the mix by the contractor, Hunter Construction for free! It looks much better in person. The light is funny on the photo.  The weaponry is comprised of military issue Airsoft Thompson Submachine Guns that we got at a steal of a deal at Princes Auto. They didn’t have any of the ones with the round, 50 shot drum magazine, but gentlemen gangsters should not blast more than 20 rounds off at a time when ladies are present, anyway. And I have found where to get the drums.

Our blurry piano. Mary has been practicing a little and I wish I had the time, and the talent. Alas. That’s the soundtrack sheet music from the film Chicago.I suppose I need the obligatory Slinky Jazz Babe or two:

On the piano is also a copy of Great Gatsby (read it in university) and Tom Robinson’s new volume (co-authored with Lanette D. Ruff) from Oxford University Press, “Out of the Mouth of Babes: Girl Evangelists in the Flapper Era.You can read a bit of it on the Amazon site (and BUY IT THERE TOO!)

Here’s the publishers blurb. Go buy this.

The 1920s saw one of the most striking revolutions in manners and morals to have marked North American society, affecting almost every aspect of life, from dress and drink to sex and salvation. Protestant Christianity was being torn apart by a heated controversy between traditionalists and the modernists, as they sought to determine how much their beliefs and practices should be altered by scientific study and more secular attitudes. Out of the controversy arose the Fundamentalist movement, which has become a powerful force in twentieth-century America.

During this decade, hundreds (and perhaps thousands) of young girl preachers, some not even school age, joined the conservative Christian cause, proclaiming traditional values and condemning modern experiments with the new morality. Some of the girls drew crowds into the thousands. But the stage these girls gained went far beyond the revivalist platform. The girl evangelist phenomenon was recognized in the wider society as well, and the contrast to the flapper worked well for the press and the public. Girl evangelists stood out as the counter-type of the flapper, who had come to define the modern girl. The striking contrast these girls offered to the racy flapper and to modern culture generally made girl evangelists a convenient and effective tool for conservative and revivalist Christianity, a tool which was used by their adherents in the clash of cultures that marked the 1920s.

Tom is the guy who did the Molly’s sign for us. We kind of told him what we wanted and he produced the final copy. Mary did the Molly image, though, modifying an online image to make it look like a flapper Molly.
Here’s another blurry shot across the bar.
Coming Soon to Molly’s

Advanced Seminar on Theological Cocktails

And you can be part of the project!  What we need is a good list of Martinis and other cocktails to honour the greats of theology and biblical studies. I mean really, what what would Aquainas drink if he got a life and started hanging out in jazz clubs? So, if you think of any great ones, please add a comment here or email happilyunchurched(at)gmail.com. Heck, you can even take an existing cocktail and dedicate it to an appropriate theologian! So long as they are sort of drinkable. Or goofy. And I hope to make a nice sign with the featured cocktail of the day, so the names of them should be fairly family friendly (regardless of what the drink was originally called!), since most parties at Molly’s start early with an assortment of kids who can read dropping by with their parents.
So far I only have one:
Tillich Tickler  (Otherwise known as the Screaming Orgasm, but I won’t put that on the specials menu!)
1 oz Vodka 1 1/2 oz Irish Cream 1/2 oz Kahlua.  Pour first vodka, then Irish Cream, then Kahlua into a cocktail glass over crushed ice. Stir.
I’m going to experiment with some concoctions to get a Bultmann Demythologizer.

Also, some non-alchohic drinks suitable branded for the seminary would be nice. Mary doesn’t drink and neither do her Mom (the only piano player we have) or Mary’s younger sister. And we shouldn’t forget the kids. In fact, I do want young Jack Harding to learn the art of bartending for the mob, like Bart Simpson did.
Sadly, John and Lisa won’t let Jack mix Manhattans. Alas. Anyone think up some theological kiddies cocktails?
I haven’t tried this one yet. And I probably won’t. You are welcome, though:
Zwingli Zwinger: 2 oz. Orange Crush, 1 oz. Sprite, pour over one crushed popsicle (any flavour).  Garnish with a Froot Loop.
But anyway, back to my janitorial duties, or Molly will probably fire me…

Its the annual panicked SBL [in]decision time again.

It’s time for Dr. Jim to start thinking about what sort of papers to propose for November’s Society of Biblical Literature meeting in Chicago as the deadline is fast approaching. I’ve never been to Chicago, so this is going to be a treat.  But what sort of paper to do?  I wish I had a mind to make up.

Since I’m working on Hebrew Bible mythology, I suppose I should do a paper on that, but the Bible, Myth and Myth Theory session is really encouraging New Testament papers this time around, but they might have room for one on ancient Israel and the Old Testament as a mythic places and spaces for thought in modern religion, (relying on Burton Mack, J. Z. Smith, Wendy Doniger).

I’m on the steering committee of the Israelite Prophetic Literature Program Unit, but I don’t feel right proposing papers for sessions I’m helping to plan and for which I have to evaluate other folks’ abstracts. I’m also on the steering committee for the proposed Secular Biblical Criticism  program unit which will probably go through a name change before gaining final approval. If we get a session this year (as we did last year) I do have  a few papers in mind, but since we have had to have 4 or 5  sessions pencilled in (we had to come up with a multi-year plan for the application to prove we could sustain interest), it would depend what the other folks on the committee thought best to lead off with. I think it’s doubtful they will give us two sessions this year, so perhaps I won’t get a paper in this at all.

Anyway, here are the two I have been thinking about for the Secular sessions. No real abstract yet, just a title. I always start with a title now, then think up what the paper is supposed to be about a few months later.  It never use dto be that way. I would usually start with some sort of project idea and just call it “Fred” until it took shape. Alas.

“The Royal Scam: Josiah, Joseph Smith and Believing (and Selling) One’s own Pious Frauds.”  This is a paper I’ve wanted to write for a long time. It’s inspired by a paper on Josiah by A.J. Droge,”The Lying Pen of Scribes: of Holy Books and Pious Frauds” (Method and Theory in the Study of Religion, 2003) that offers a nice history of the use of the term “pious fraud” in biblical studies and looks at the production of “ancient” holy books in the ancient Mediterranean world. Droge also writes (in the abstract) “the absence of ‘fraud’ from the disciplinary lexica [of Religious Studies] is more than a little curious, especially since ‘fraud’ is very much a part of religion’s vocabulary, and, from a cynical view of religion’s history, ‘fraud’ might very be regarded as the modus operandi religiousus‘. I think Droge’s argument can be widened and I’d like to follow up on some of the questions surrounding the marketing of brand new “old” books or the claims of “divine inspiration” in producing others.

And the title is inspired by this:

Steely Dan: The Royal Scam

“On the Religion of Bronze Age Goat-Herders. Ancient Israel as a secularist’s foil”  This one takes a poke at the way the religions of ancient Israel and the biblical texts are (mis)represented in the popular literature of activist, secularists and atheists. I came across a number of places where the Old Testament was called something like “The mythology of a bunch of Bronze Age goat-herders”, which is wrong on a few counts. Elsewhere, one finds that the Biblical conceptions were simply “stolen from the Babylonians”. What i want to do in this paper is argue that one job of secular biblical scholarship should be to address these kinds of misrepresentations and that doing so may be almost as important (if not equally so) as addressing fundamentalist or conservative misrepresentation of biblical origins.

 

Stolen from Pharyngula.

See, this is NOT a Bronze Age goat. It is a Bronze Age sheep. (Doesn’t the
Bronze Age sheepdog look a bit  like a Bronze Age Spuds McKenzie?)

 If the secular thing doesn’t work out, I will need a backup plan. If I don’t do a paper, I don’t get funding. If I don’t get funding, I will have to start shameless money-grubbing online. And if that doesn’t work, I will have to pay out of pocket to go, because I have meetings there I can’t miss.

Fortunately, there are some other good sessions that would be a lot of fun to talk part in. Damn thing is, the paper would probably have to make sense. I hate reality.

There is an interesting session hosted by the “Use, Influence, and Impact of the Bible” program unit. according to the call for papers, “This program unit explores how the Bible has been used and/or influential in the way it has been received in society. The focus is upon the reception of the text in contexts other than a narrow critical-academic one.”

I think it would be interesting to do a study on representation of the Bible and Bible topics in newspapers over the past few decades: see when where and how the Bible shows up in mainstream newspapers (outside of the overt “Religion/Faith” sections. This would touch on politics, educational policy, etc etc. Could be fun.

Robert Cargill is heading up the Blogger and Online Publication section. “The open session calls for papers focusing on any area of blogging and online publication in relation to biblical studies, theology, and archaeology of the Levant. Special consideration will be given to those papers addressing the use of online technologies for peer-review and evaluation of academic research.”  There seems to be only one session, so the competition might be tough. I REALLY hate reality. I think I’d like to do a paper on the need for peer reviewing biblical lolcats. Except for mine. They’re great. Here’s the latest.

 Vote for my Baptized Kitty and help her
get on the Front Page of Icanhascheezeburger!
Just click the pic! 

And then there is the Bible and Popular Culture section that is having two sessions. One is on the U.S. elections and/or Tebowing. I think one is just dumb, and as for the other, I don’t like football. But the open session might be loads of fun. Must think. Must think…  Hmmm…. would they go for a paper on Slinky Bible Babes in film and stuff?

 

Anyway, I will get something sorted out. Please send in ideas so I can rip them off.

 

A Somewhat Unorthodox Bar Mitzvah Speech and a rather touching song

Found this on Youtube while looking for some interesting Bar Mitzvah videos for my class. This young fellow is priceless!

And then there was Krusty’s

Anyway, here’s something else Jewish, its a lot less fun but really quite beautiful. In a way it is a small part of the Jewish story our young Bar Mitzvah should remember, regardless of what he believes about God. It’s Eli, Eli, (Walk to Caesarea) written by Hannah Szenes (executed in WWII), sung by Sophie Milman, my favourite Slinky Jazz Babe™

Spell like an Egyptian…

The Bird is apparently NOT the Word-ending.

Thanks to Helen Arrol and Facebook for the above. But not the below.

Or this.

Debaptism: Put that in your font and dunk it!

Saw this on Face book posted by Russell McCutcheon.

Absolutely BRILLIANT

And check out my old post on Debaptism. It blows.

http://drjimsthinkingshop.com/2009/07/debaptism-cmon-out-the-blowdryer-is-fine/

A snippet Yes, I’ve been touched by the

Ephemeral Appendage of the Blow Dryer of Reason.™®.

 

The new Blowhard 3000 Debaptizer. Blows your mind, rationally.

SOme more baptism funnies

And  I just found this on Fractally Wrong:

Has your baptism caused problems in your life? Were you baptized against your will as an innocent child, only to find out years later that it necessarily gives you life-membership in an insane, brainwashing cult of zombie worshipers? Perhaps you’re just embarrassed about ΙΧΘΥΣ odor and itch. …

Tebow gets sacked by a Jewish Football star!

Thanks to Garry Kohn for this wild bit of sports news.

Well, at least Heebow can Pass Over!

Intercepted from: http://macleodcartoons.blogspot.com